I will give anyone $5 if they can give me a legitimate, believable reason as to why I have to work today. It's Muncie, a college town. I work in the library. It's the day after the birth of the J-Man (Son of G... Died on the C....)
Today's Quantum Math Lesson, presented by Stephen Hawking
No students + Christmas break = the library doesn't need to be open
Seriously, there has not been a single person down here in two hours, and it's safe to assume that nobody is going to come down here anytime soon and inquire if they can check out Chinatown on VHS or see if they can use a viewing room to watch a film reel of two elderly foxes have butt sex underneath a huge banzai tree.
I'M WASTING MY TIME! Disregard the fact that I'm making a whopping $5.90 per hour down here. This is torture. I'm so bored. Absolutely nothing to do. Amanda's bored.... April is bored.... Mandy is bored... Justin is bored. Why the fuck are there four people down here? I'm about to brandish a cigar cutter and start nipping the tips of my fingers off and try to re-adhere them with masking tape or something.
Somebody please come down here nude and demand something completely ancillary, like some old shitty UDC or something. PLEASE. I can't last four more hours. I honestly can't. I can only watch Meatspin or the BME Pain Olympics video so many times before I start crying.
And not because it's bothering me either, or I feel morally compromised.
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