Things that get you pumped. Tons 'o links. Yes, I talked about sandwiches, not Blondie, in this post.

Man, one thing I absolutely hate is being forced to try something new. Let's say you're at Steak 'n Shake with some dudes, and you run to the bathroom right before the server comes up to take your order. You're in the bathroom for a while, and when you come back, there's some sandwich sitting at your place at the table that you've never had before.

So you're thinking, "Man, fuck this sandwich. It looks awful." Friends douse bread with condiments. Kids across from your table knock over salt shakes and grind the bottom of their cups on little mountains. You're the only one not eating. You sip at your shake and spin the straw around the ring of strawberry paste towards the bottom.

"Dude, you're wasting money on that sandwich? I'll eat it." One of your friends loosens one notch on his belt and grabs at your sandwich, tearing off a piece at the bottom.

You watch his hand, as if it were some alpha male gripping a pup in its jaws or the Earth opening at a rounded corner, sucking half a city into shallow dirt. "Here, just try it."

Tear off a piece, grind it into pulp. Lettuce, some red onion, peppers, some thick cajun sauce. Two or three different meats. It's delicious. As soon as your throat pushes the lump down, the larger piece is hanging from your buddy's lips. I guess now you can order your usual cheeseburger with extra mustard and a side of cheese dip.

So maybe next time you won't be so antsy about trying something new. I mean, I'm still going to be antsy. I hate change. I usually hate new food, poems, cars, weather, windows, whatever. It all freaks me the fuck out. What's awesome is when you try something new and it punches you so hard in the face, you have to call your mom and have her remind you that you're her baby.

These things pump me:

Awesome. Rad. Bitchin'. Sweet. Better than most. Don't say I didn't warn you, this is awesome.

I'm going to watch the rest of the World Series in my room and sleep for a long time since I have tomorrow off.