So my friend Brianne decided to be a princess and buy me a box of Fruit Roll-Ups, a-la Carl in Aqua Teen, in hopes to cheer me up/feel better. On one note, they totally did. There's nothing like the succulent taste of a strawberry flavored sheet of sugar. But... while under the influence of "marijuana," I was examining the box, and for some reason, I thought there were only like... six snacks left in the box, mainly because every fucking snack box always has six snacks/cakes/velvety loves in it, which is a TOTAL cop out.
Seriously, six fucking snacks? What is that shit? I mean, think of that fat little six-year-old gnome waiting for his mom to go get the mail so he can shove three Swiss Cake rolls down his throat before Mom comes back inside. I'm no hefty heifer, but sometimes, I'd like to have more then one fucking snack without worrying about the box being gone. But again, off the tangent and back onto the glorious road... on the right hand corner of the box, I saw that this box of Fruit Roll-Ups sported 10! That's right.... 10 fucking snacks.
Holy shit... are we serious?
Ten mother fucking snacks. I almost wept. Then, I remembered that a Fruit Roll-Up is roughly the size of a piece of toilet paper. God damn you, Betty Crocker. You and penny pinching snack making ways.
2 comments:
I was gonna make you a casserole but, I didn't.
<3 i'm glad you liked the snacks.
it would've been better though if i would've taken the fruit roll up out of the wrapper though and handed it to you...
oh...and the fact that you called me a princess in print ALMOST made me forget that I have the plague.
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