Taller than you as to dominate the NBA/Office basketball league

Man, I always want to be the tallest one in the group. Think of it: you'd be able to see over everyone, so if something cool was happening at the end of the block, you'd be the first to tell everyone. If you ever went to a hot dog stand, you could be like "Shawww, POW," and reach over a few heads to grab your dog slathered in cheese sauce and mustard.

Uh, so ignore the fact that this guy looks pretty annoyed. It's cool. I definitely dig his sweater and tie combo. Green/red is always righteous, even without the yellow to complete the stoplight.

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I'd also like to be able to run long distances. Can't though. We'll I guess I could. I think the longest I had ever ran, even when I was in fantastic shape in high school, was like two miles. I was never much of a distance runner, which means I'd be terrible in a horror movie if my character had to high-tail it through the woods or around a lake that stretched off the screen.

Can't help it though. I have bad posture. Feet roll outward, my strides put me on the balls of my feet, I move gimp-footed. It sucks, can't stand it. Running, to me, would be the quintessential getaway. I could always ride a bike, see, but I don't want that kind of help. I'd like to just go. I don't even need a fly pair of shoes (lied, yes I do. I have a closet full of them).

I also don't think I have the lungs for it. Breathing is key, I'd imagine. There's a right and a wrong way to execute it. Maybe when I move, I'll try this.

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If Jimmy John's has gift cards, why not send me one before I move? That'd be great, friend. Thanks. Do it.

Oh yeah, moving. 8 days. Christ almighty. What a ride I'm about to take. This man did say it best, after all:

Buy the ticket, take the ride.