They finally did something

Thank the Lord! Praise Allah! Using every single second of the trade deadline, the Bulls finally made a roster shake-up. While it might not the the ground-breaking, Earth-shattering promise of a Pau Gasol, Kobe Bryant or Zach Randolph, the Bulls changed things up a bit, injecting a much needed shake-up to their roster.  The three team, twelve-piece (sounds like a meal from KFC) looks like this.

Seattle acquires: G Ira Newble (CLE), F Donyell Marshall (CLE), and F Adrian Griffin (CHI)

Cleveland acquires: C Ben Wallace (CHI),  F Joe Smith (CHI), Chicago's second round pick in 2009, F Wally Szczerbiak (SEA), and G Delonte West (SEA)

Chicago acquires: F Drew Gooden (CLE), G Larry Hughes (CLE), F Cedric Simmons (CLE) and G Shannon Brown)

One really interesting thing to point out is that this trade works, even if only in very minute ways, for all involved parties. Seattle is obviously looking to shed cap numbers by acquiring expiring contracts. Right now, the team is stocking up on draft picks and really freeing up some space to make a splash in the draft and free agent market during the off-season. It may not look like a lot right now, but Seattle is bracing to build a team their team around Kevin Durant, Jeff Green and Chris Wilcox. It'll be interesting to see if they can land one of the big fish, either in the draft or free agency. Expect Seattle to have another top 5 pick.

The Bulls and Cavs were both in the same boat: needing to shake up their roster and add new elements to their teams. LeBron finally has an accurate shooter in Wally that he can rely on. With Daniel Gibson looking to be out for up to six weeks, this was a life-saver, seeing as to this point, LBJ has been carrying Cleveland on his back, even more so than usual. Joe Smith provides some scoring in the frontcourt outside of Zydrunas Ilgauskas. Smith has a solid jumper up to 18 feet, and will provide some solid veteran leadership that their team was obviously lacking last year in the Finals.

Ben Wallace is the biggest question mark for me. As a Bulls fan, I'm glad we got rid of him. His contract was massive, and he obviously wasn't happy in Chicago: it definitely showed in his play. Five points, nine rebounds and less than two blocks a game shows that. Apparently, Cleveland is wanting him to provide a spark off the bench for around 20 minutes a night. I just doing see that happening. Ben Wallace is a starter, but his lack of offense polish would make him useless at the four spot. With the emergence of Anderson Varajao, I just don't see Wallace starting over either him or Big Z. Either way, this gives the Cavs a fresh look. Wallace and Smith are going to provide some veteran leadership, and some toughness in their front court. Wally S. should finally give LeBron another shooter to look for, but with the injury to Daniel Gibson, he might need to make a larger contribution. Although, Delonte West could step in and fill his role. Not to mention, the second-round pick could be an asset in future deals.

The Bulls trade is ultimately filled with more questions, but was probably the most crucial out of the three teams. I honestly think the Cavs settled for a second-rate deal, because they ultimately wanted a point guard (Mike Bibby or Jason Kidd, anyone?) I just think they were scared at the high price that the Kings and Nets, respectively, were asking for their prized guards. However, looking at the trade they made with Seattle and Chicago, was the price they paid just as high?

Granted, Drew Gooden and Larry Hughes both cause a few concerns. As a Bulls fan, I'm not to thrilled about Hughes' contract, especially when you look at his performance so far during his years in Cleveland. He's disappeared in the playoffs, and goes on streaks where he just flat-out doesn't play. The same can be said for Gooden, but not in the same severity. Gooden is a young power forward who has the occasional brain fart on both ends of the court.

Those gaffs aside, Hughes and Gooden can prove to be huge in Chicago. The acquisition all but seals that this is Ben Gordon's last season in Chicago. I'm expecting a sign-and-trade deal sometime in around the draft. Now the Bulls have a huge clog in their backcourt: Sefolosha, Hinrich, Gordon, Hughes, Duhon, and newcomer Shannon Brown will all be lobbying for playing time. 

Both Gooden and Hughes bring new elements to the Windy City. Hughes FINALLY provides some size to the guard position (another reason why I think the undersized Ben Gordon will have a new home next year). He's a slasher who's going to have a lot more room to move around in Chicago's offense. Oh yeah, he's a much better defensive player, too. If he stays healthy, he could provide a nice scoring punch with Luol Deng and Kirk Hinrich: all three should average above fifteen points per contest. Gooden is seven years younger than Ben Wallace. While he might not be as formidable on defense as Big Ben, Gooden is much more polish offensively, and can still pull down nine or ten boards a night. 

What I love most about Wallace and Smith leaving is that this frees up a lot more playing time for Tyrus Thomas and Joakim Noah. They should each get at least twenty-five minutes a night. A new starting line-up of (I'm guessing) Hinrich, Hughes, Deng, Gooden and Noah is young and extremely exciting. Not to mention, their bench is as deep as ever, although they did take a small hit in front court depth. The energy off the bench from Gordon, Nocioni, Thomas and Sefolosha is crazy. Plus, the big thing: all these guys can score.

This obviously wasn't the blockbuster Chicago had in mind six months ago, but this may have been enough to salvage this season. Let's be honest: outside of Boston and Detroit, nobody is expected to make any noise in the East. This gives the Bulls a huge opportunity to have a solid second half and squeeze into one of the bottom three spots in the playoffs. I also think having these new faces in Chicago is enough to attract a big-time coach when the season is over (paging Jeff Van Gundy or Rick Carlisle). I'm praying to every holy figure imaginable that the Bulls aren't stupid enough to keep Boylan after his interim tag is up. 

In the end, this is still too-little too-late. GM John Paxon was too hardheaded in keeping his glorious "core" of young players: Deng, Hinrich, Gordon and Nocioni, and in doing that, he let three or four potential deals fly right out the window. Deals that, looking back, came with relatively light price tags (especially Gasol's). Oh well, at least our young big guys can play, and Ben Wallace is gone. 

Ah-HA!

So, I write something pseudo-negative about the Bulls and what do they do? They start Tyrus Thomas at center (due to a death in Ben Wallace's family), and they play an extremely solid game against the Heat, winning 99-92. Thomas had 10 points, 12 big rebounds, and 4 blocks. Joe Smith provided his savvy veteran leadership with 19 and 11, and even Thabo got into the mix, pouring in 17 points, 11 rebounds, and four steals. Hinrich, for some reason... is still coming off the bench, and in only 32 minutes, led the Bulls in scoring with 24, shooting over 50% from the field, and snagged 7 boards.

The Bulls played tough defense, were unselfish, and beat the Heat in rebounds, turnovers, and shot 80% from the line as a team. Dare I say.... these look like my Bulls from last year? I'm not gonna' go that far yet, but man, these guys looked sharp. When Deng and Gordon come back, watch out. I honestly think with the impending Jason Kidd trade to the Mavs, the Bulls could leapfrog Atlanta and Philadelphia and make their way into one of the final two spots in the East. Please God, please.

On top of this good fortune, yesterday was Valentine's Day, and Ms. B and I had fun. After my last class, we went and painted mugs and this cool place downtown. Mine looked like it came out of somebody's ass, and hers was much more refined and actually looked like something I'd want future children to look at. We had an unsuccessful run at Best Buy, trying to find the fifth volume of Aqua Teen DVDs and roamed around there for a while, watching jerk-offs pretend they know how to play instruments on Rock Band. After we got home, we busted out one of the jillion unopened DVDs I have (Ed Wood) and gave it a whirl. It's pretty funny to me that a movie made about a guy who was a cross-dressing director with zero talent was actually a good movie. Definitely one of the better Tim Burton films.

Not a bad day yesterday. Plus, today's Friday. HALOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Happy Memory Recollection Club

We’re a club of two, sometimes three,
when the waiter decides to eavesdrop behind his tray of appetizers.
Two men with tufts of grey hair protruding from our noses and ears,
sipping stubby glasses of watered-down liquor.
Our booth is in the corner, surrounded by pictures of the Rat Pack
and stencils of old Packard sedans.
This corner of the restaurant is cold and dust falls from the light fixtures.
John and I talk in low voices, hiding our lips behind soiled handkerchiefs.
The years we talk about come in chunks, book-ended
by wars and children and wives and nights in prison.

We talk about our twenties and thirties.
About two decades in black and white.
Before our Second War, John and I would swim in watering holes
after long nights at the packing factory.
We drank from brown bottles and swam
until our arms grew tires and heavy
Our uniforms stained with algae.
The sun never set, crawling to the top of the horizon
and settling itself on hills that looked like a long brown rug stretching forever.
I would pick up John on the weekends,
and we’d drive my Ford
at dangerous speeds on back roads, drinking from those same
brown unmarked bottles.
Those nights lasted until the Ford’s block cracked
on a cold night in January.

We talk about our forties and fifties.
The days we spent in jazz clubs,
engulfed in thick unfiltered smoke and baritone flat notes.
We talked about reading our children bedtime stories ten years earlier,
about the accents we used for the French characters and animals.
We listened to the songs without names from bands without names,
in clubs without names.
Those baritone notes soaking into the tables along with spilled drinks
and melted ice cubes.
We watched our sons die on television eight-thousand miles away.
Their limbs blown into little fragments of ruby and crimson.
Other children losing their minds while winding down rivers
beneath a beating foreign sun.
John stopped believing in God, when he imagined
his son’s soul swallowed by pythons.
He moved to a suburb in East Rutherford.
A split level ranch house with shutters
and a yard the size of a postage stamp.
There was one tree, which never bore fruit.
He named after his son.

We talk about our sixties,
which is exclusively about our penises.
I talk about how mine no longer works.
My prostate swollen to the size of an apricot.
My penis sits in my khakis as if it were a garden hose
frozen in the dead of winter.
John likes to remember the prostitutes he made love to in Korea.
The sex he had in cars that hadn’t ran in fifteen years.
He remembered the color of their skin and which buttock their
birthmarks were on.
We discuss when our penises worked like machines,
and when we knew women, even our wives,
only by their backsides
and their moans.

We talk about dying. About
living in a cloud. Discussing seeing our sons after forty years
with their bodies in tact.
John wants to die in his sleep, face first in a pillow,
with his wife’s arms cradling his waist.
He wants to be free of medication, free of the
syrup from the brown bottles.
I want to buy another Ford sedan and drive
until every last drop of fuel is used.
Cruising across the country on dirt roads.
I want to arrive at the ocean
and walk into its depths forever.
I want to meet the horizon and the sun.

I hate being a Bulls fan

Let's face it, rooting for any sports team from Chicago is going to cause an ulcer. Whether it's the Bulls, the Cubs, the White Sox, my Chicago Bears, or even the lowly Blackhawks, cheering on your favorite team from the Windy City needs to come with a warning label. Horrendous front-office decisions, curses with goats, underachieving, and having to live in the shadows of the greatest athlete in the history of sports is never easy for both the athletes or the fans.

And with me, it's no exception. Year in and year out, despite how bad it hurts during playoff time, I root for my Chicago faithful. But this past sports year was especially painful. The Cubs brought in some big time free agents, played fairly well during the regular season, but with the distractions of new impending ownership, Carlos Zambrano constantly grabbing at his dick and his huge contract extension... and not to mention, injuries... the Cubs were trounced in the first round. 

Same with the Bears: tons of injuries, problems in the front office, the Lance Briggs distraction before the season, and yes... the lack of a quarterback, doomed the 2006 NFC champions. While they played really well the last six games of the season, a 7-9 mark just doesn't cut it. At full strength, they could've easily made it to the Super Bowl, and don't kid yourself thinking otherwise. 

The Blackhawks are in a unique position because they're definitely rebuilding. They have two outstanding young stars in Patrick Kane and Jonathan Towes and some decent talent around them. Even though I still have to live with the fact that they traded away both Dominik Hasek and Ed Belfour, two future Hall of Fame goalies (who were on the team at the same time, mind you) and the fact that they practically gave away Jeremy Roenick and Chris Chellios.... the Blackhawks seem to be looking up. Their future should be bright, barring any other ridiculous, unforeseen personnel snafus.   

However, the biggest disappointment for me is the Bulls. Even though they've played like complete garbage for 95% of this season... they're 1 game out of the final playoff spot in the East, which truly shows that outside of Boston and Detroit, nobody in the East even deserves to be alive past April. When I was a kid, I got to watch every game Michael Jordan played. When you watched the Bulls, you expected them to win every night. It didn't matter who they played. Jordan and Pippen were unstoppable. Their role players were so well rounded, their teams didn't have a weakness. Horace Grant, Bill Cartwright, Rodman, Stacey King, Paxon, Kerr.... everyone brought it every single night. And it's conventional wisdom that if Jordan wouldn't have called it quits in 1994, the Bulls would've won the two titles that the Rockets snagged from them, which would've further cemented them as the greatest basketball dynasty ever.

Seeing their current blunders, and when you couple that with the previous LAJ (Life After Jordan) seasons, it's almost impossible to stomach. Chicago has fielded some horrendous basketball teams the past few seasons. However, they were able to stockpile enough young talent to finally get the team out of the NBA cellar and made themselves formidable again.

Well, that is... up until this season. As of now, the Bulls are in danger of missing the playoffs for the first time in three seasons. After last year's sweep of the Heat and a solid performance against the always dangerous Pistons, it seemed like this could be the Bulls year. It really seemed like they had a legitimate chance in fending off Boston and Detroit. They had a solid young nucleus with Gordon, Deng, Hinrich and Nocioni, a defensive presence in the middle with Ben Wallace, a passable bench, and two solid young prospects in Tyrus Thomas and Joakim Noah. They had a coach who was hungry to win, and  a front office who seemed to be Hell-bent on keeping this group in tact.

Umm.... what happened?

It seemed like everything was doomed from the start. Before the season even started, the hot topic around the league was Kobe Bryant, unhappy with the Lakers status, getting shipped to Chicago for half of the Bulls' roster, plus a few draft picks. The deal never made sense to me, if the Bulls were going to unload six players plus a draft pick for one guy, what was going to be left for him to work with. Up until this season, Kobe wasn't winning anything alone out West, so how much better did he think he could do in the East? The Bulls would've been a carbon copy of the Cavs. A team that wasn't equal to the sum of its parts.

After that, the Bulls lost ten of their first twelve games. Players began fighting at practice. Deng, Gordon, and Hinrich all got banged up. They intermittently missed games. Then the Kobe talks suddenly died when the Lakers surged up the standings in the West. Coach Scott Skiles was fired, and the Bulls had no idea what they wanted to do for a coach. First Pete Myers coached a game, they got waxed... then Jim Boylan was named interm coach for the remainder of the season.

The Bulls kept losing.

Then the big three got hurt again. And now... we're at the point in the season that, despite all of this futility... the Bulls are still contenders. You have to sit there and think, how close are they? Well, I've got a formula that SHOULD garner some success, if the Bulls actually followed it.

1. First and foremost... the Bulls need an offensive force in the paint. Noah and Thomas are far too raw at this stage in their career to hold their own down there against the elite defensive low-post forces. And Ben Wallace has about as much offensive polish as Stuart Gray, so he's not an option. After the Bulls saw how little L.A. gave up to get Pau Gasol, I bet they wish they were still hot on his trail coming into this season. Talks with Memphis died last year when they were asking for way too much (I think Deng, Gordon AND Thomas, plus an expiring contract and a draft pick)... but the Lakers essentially stole Gasol from Memphis for forty-five cents. That needs to be their goal: get a guy who's going to dominate down low, and score around twenty a night. If they did, one or two of their young guys could be expendable.

2. Decide on the future of their young core... NOW. The only young players signed for an extensive period of time are Kirk Hinrich and Andres Nocioni, arguably their two least important players. Both show occasional flashes of stardom, but Hinrich has obviously regressed since last season (way too many turnovers, shooting under 35%), and is showing that it's difficult for him to stay healthy. Nocioni can provide a nice spark off the bench, but he absolutely cannot play defense, like most foreign players, and takes some of the worst flops this side of Vlade Divac. The Bulls need to decide if they want to keep Ben Gordon, Luol Deng, Tyrus Thomas and Joakim Noah for a while, and they need to decide now. 

Ben Gordon can light up the net for 35 to 40 points on any given night, and is their only pure shooter and penetrator. Deng has some solid all-around aspects of his game and some decent size. If he had just a little more tenacity on the defensive end, he could turn into one of the best all-around players in the East. And as I stated earlier, Thomas and Noah are both showing sparks of future stardom, but it's just too early to tell if they'll be worth a big contract. That aside... the Bulls need to decide NOW if they want to keep this group of guys. Deng and Gordon, especially, since they're going to demand 12+ million dollars per season. It wouldn't hurt to keep Chris Duhon or Thaba Sefolosha, both who should be able to be kept aboard for relatively cheap. Plus, if they decide not to keep one or two of their guys, they could package them in a deal to fulfill their number one need. Let's face it, they won't be able to make a huge splash in the draft (unless Michael Beasley comes out this year... and the Bulls somehow get the top pick).

3. Make a splash with their next head coach. They don't need a huge bombshell that's going to sever the NBA, but the Bulls need to look for a coach that's going to cater to the style of players on their current roster.  Jeff Van Gundy or Rick Carlisle would be sound choices in my eyes, buy might garner a higher salary then cheap-ass Jerry Reinsdorf wants to dish out, especially if he has to sign Deng and Gordon for a combined 100+ million dollars. Having a coach is going to reestablish a philosophy for the team. The Bulls have solid pieces in place, they just need some discipline and direction, something an interim coach just can't give them

4. Get healthy. What's so unfortunate about health in sports is that it's partially based on luck. Some teams get lucky, never have any major injuries, and can go through a season with great success because they never get bit by the injury bug, and are able to create chemistry. The Bulls just keep having guys get hurt. And it's not like it's guys buried on the bench, it's their starters. The only player to play in all 50 of their games is Nocioni, and while most of their other players haven't missed substantial time, these injuries cause them to mix up their starting line-up. This team just lacks any chemistry, as opposed to the past three seasons. Not to mention.....

5. The Bulls don't have a real on-court leader. Sure, Hinrich and Deng are both "team captains" but outside of that label, they don't provide that real "leadership" that's shown by guys like Kevin Garnett, Kobe Bryant, Chris Paul or Tim Duncan. Is there any question if those guys are in charge of their respective teams? Not at all. I honestly think Deng needs to be signed for whatever he wants, and he needs to get paired with Noah, Thomas and the rest of their young core. Somebody needs to step it up and really take control of this team, and Luol Deng has the all-around skills to lead a team.

If it were up to me, all of these things would happen. The Bulls would start Hinrich, Gordon, Deng, Noah and Wallace, with Nocioni, Duhon, Thomas, Smith, Gray and Sefolosha rounding out their 12-man rotation. Wallace is going to be gone after next season because of an expiring contract, and maybe sooner, since the rumor around Chicago is they're trying to actively trade his 15 million dollars a season. If he's gone, bump Thomas into the starting 4-spot. That'd be a solid young starting line-up, plus adequate bench depth to be... at worst, the third best team in the East.  Getting expiring contracts for Wallace would free up the cap space needed to make a splash in the draft and free agency.

Somebody just needs to re-ignite last year's fire. Most of the pieces are in place, a smart move just needs to be made. God knows I don't want to revisit the 1999-2003 Bulls.

I just wrote this in class.

JaQuan and I are trying to write the “How to Survive an Office Job Without Ever Pooping There” guide on a train. We’re headed towards Buffalo, catching the tailwind. The sun has just settled behind a cluster of trees, beams of light still dancing their way through the window.
It’s really windy outside, and JaQuan is pissed. He hates windy days. The last time it was windy, we were hunting dinosaurs with a big, radioactive dildo, when it got blown out of his hands, and it cut my car in half.
The wind began picking up. Trees and shit blew all over the tracks, JaQuan got even more pissed. He was afraid that trees were going to smash into our car, and rip the roof off. I told him that would be just fine with me, because it’d be like we’re in an awesome action movie, only without Jason Statham or Chuck Norris.
We started going through a tunnel, and JaQuan asked, “How come when you eat corn, no matter how much you chew it, you poop it out in whole kernals?” This question caused me to wrinkle my face, like Bill Paxton or somebody else famous would. Usually when he asks me stuff, I know the answer. That could be because we usually talk about going into space and punch asteroids into tiny pieces (that’s how Nerd’s candy is made), or kicking the fucking crap out of a giant lizard with two heads and a dick shaped like New Jersey.
Or we talk about music…. Like we debate what kinds of instruments really creepy people play. I think John Wayne Gacy would play a xylophone made out of bones, and his sticks would be the boners of a whale, or maybe he’d just play a regular tambourine. JaQuan hates instruments.

What's for dinner?

Mom shoveled two spoonfuls of mixed vegetables
onto Heath’s plate. One more than usual.
He’d been sick lately and wanted him to get healthy.

Heath hated these plates: the yellow and red floral prints.
The chipped china edges and the stains from barbecue sauce.
He was missing his favorite TV show because of Mom.
He thought to himself, “Eight-year-olds need cartoons more than their vegetables.”
Mom seated herself across from Heath, and dug her elbows into the table.
“Eat, Hun.”

His fork raced across the plate like a sleek jet boat through dense blue waves.
It crashed against his pork roast, it sent the peas
rolling way from the carrots, from the timbered chunks of broccoli.
Heath was wishing for the phone to ring
or the walls would start turning colors so Mom would get scared
and leave the kitchen.
“Playing with your food just makes it cold. Just eat it.”
Heath continued to transport his food from edge to edge,
occasionally stabbing an astray piece of undercooked meat.
He hardly chewed it.

The tabby cat clock’s tail swayed above the refrigerator.
Its hands touched, which signaled Mom to retreat to the bathroom.
A door creaked shut, and Heath pushed a majority of the vegetables
underneath a large piece of meat.
“Mom, I’m finished.”
Heath stepped on the garbage can lever, causing the lid to swing up.
The cold food fell with a thud
onto napkins and coffee grounds from yesterday morning,
like bodies into an open grave.

The flush of a toilet and the creak of the bathroom door happened
simultaneously.
A warning for Heath, to let him know to hide in the living room
with the TV on.

So it's been a few days since my last post. I got my stint taken out on Thursday, and spent the rest of the week relaxing and just trying to get my body back to feeling normal. Right now, I'd say I'm around 90%. My back/kidney still bother me a bit sometimes, but other then that, I've been able to eat meals regularly and stay awake the entire day, which couldn't be said this time last week.

What sucks is that I've been thrown out of my routine. All I did this past week was sit around and play video games. Sure, it was fun.... but I'm behind again with school work, which sucks major. I didn't get to meet with my group for my ENG 409 semester project, so I need to get some serious time done with them. It's just hard when you get a routine down, and it gets obliterated. Now I have to spend this week playing catch-up, all while trying to work at the library and stay afloat in all six of my classes.

But today's the Super Bowl, and that's all I really care about right now. Well that.... and Halo 3... and Volkswagens. I've been waiting all year for this... the culmination of Tom Brady raping the NFL for four straight months. The Giants are definitely going to put up a fight, but you just can't defy destiny. If the Patriots weren't meant to have a perfect season, they would've already lost (to Baltimore, Philidelphia or Indianapolis), but they didn't. 

I'm going to go home, order pizza, and watch Brady rack up ring number four.

38-20, Patriots win.