I just wrote this in class.

JaQuan and I are trying to write the “How to Survive an Office Job Without Ever Pooping There” guide on a train. We’re headed towards Buffalo, catching the tailwind. The sun has just settled behind a cluster of trees, beams of light still dancing their way through the window.
It’s really windy outside, and JaQuan is pissed. He hates windy days. The last time it was windy, we were hunting dinosaurs with a big, radioactive dildo, when it got blown out of his hands, and it cut my car in half.
The wind began picking up. Trees and shit blew all over the tracks, JaQuan got even more pissed. He was afraid that trees were going to smash into our car, and rip the roof off. I told him that would be just fine with me, because it’d be like we’re in an awesome action movie, only without Jason Statham or Chuck Norris.
We started going through a tunnel, and JaQuan asked, “How come when you eat corn, no matter how much you chew it, you poop it out in whole kernals?” This question caused me to wrinkle my face, like Bill Paxton or somebody else famous would. Usually when he asks me stuff, I know the answer. That could be because we usually talk about going into space and punch asteroids into tiny pieces (that’s how Nerd’s candy is made), or kicking the fucking crap out of a giant lizard with two heads and a dick shaped like New Jersey.
Or we talk about music…. Like we debate what kinds of instruments really creepy people play. I think John Wayne Gacy would play a xylophone made out of bones, and his sticks would be the boners of a whale, or maybe he’d just play a regular tambourine. JaQuan hates instruments.