Tao Lin always blows himself.

I'm not even kidding. Look at his blog.  It's like one of those porno sites you accidently go to because you spell boobs wrong,  so it's just a bunch of pop-ups and really loud sounds of girls moaning and sucking on fat red dildos.

He wants you to buy his books, his pubic hair, MySpace page, etc. That's cool, I guess. At least he sells books. I don't even have a book to sell. Sometimes I wish I did, other times, I wish my desire to write would just disappear and I would be content with driving a snow plow in Montana. 

Brah, look how tough that looks. Snow flying everywhere. That could potentially have been like.... 15 snowmen. What you don't see is all the grade schoolers boo-hoo'ing as they watch Jack Frost's nose get turned into carrot splinters.

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By the way, that last stuff was for Dan Bailey and Nate Logan. Both of those guys rule, and not just because they're on top of my blog roll. Shit, Nate, you haven't updated your blog in like two weeks. What's your problem? You too, Dan B.

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It's my birthday in two days, and I'm thinking about staying in all day and burning a hole through something. Or writing. Or reading about writing. Or writing about reading. Or wiping this sweat off of my neck and legs. Or bathing.

I have no idea. We'll see.