If you have the chance to be the sheep or sheppard, be the wolf.

Time to split fuck the old lady.

Ha.

Mom: Alright, I love you bunny.
Me: I love you too, Mom.

Solitude

Solitude

Your stomach is killing you!
Like you're holding a cumbersome shit
in the pit of your gut.
So you hum a song that you like, hoping your Gibraltar shit subsides
into two or three slivers of brown ribbon, flowing like that boring waterfall
Mom and Dad dragged you to in the sixth grade.
You smell brewing hazelnut coffee in the kitchen,
and the percolator sounds
as if marching soldier toys chirp with merriment,
with tin feet clacking against concrete.
Two or three cups fall out of the broken cupboard, probably cutting someone's feet.

You like being locked in the bathroom.
Unrolling toilet paper into piles on the floor, running all the hot water until it's all cold.
Shoving disposable razors through the door's threshold so that
the sounds of robot's making love and blenders on frappe bleed together.
And the air is always damp and burdensome, like after you get out of the shower.
Filling your lungs, real thick.

The juicer is going now, so is the stove timer.
It's loud enough keep you awake.
You wrap yourself in a green bathrobe
and rock back and forth on the balls of your feet.
The toilet looks uncannily clean, but time is passing through pinched fingers,
Slow enough so that you know that it's still ladened with filth and dirty
enough to put you in the hospital.
Still, you're thirsty enough to dip your hands in the water,
as if receiving a Communion wafer.
It's cold splashing against your face.
Half bars of Irish Spring feel gritty against your skin,
You bathe anyway.
Wrapped in a clean towel, you press your face against the shag rug.
Encompassed with the smell of wet dog and cinnamon toothpaste,
you're able to fall asleep,
Alone.
For a change.


First draft-_

I hate my family, hate my school, speed limits and the golden rule.
Hate people who aren't what they seem, more than anything else, American Dream.


I hate my job, I hate your God, I hate hypocrites and common slobs.
Hate people who aren't what they seem, more than anything else, American Dream.


...because neighbors! Nobody loves you like Heloves you.

zOMG

Seriously.

Queens of the Stone Age, August 4th in Indy. Murat Egyptian Room.

Yes. I love you Josh Homme <3

Volkswagen conversation

Joey: Nick, I saw that you got an aircooled! Looks sweet.
Nick: Yeah, got a deal on it. 69' Super Beetle. Very little rust, the carbs need work, though.
Joey: Nice, what does it sound like? Bet it sounds like-
Nick: Complete dog shit. Well, when it runs...
Joey: Oh.

Popping my XBox Live cherry

I finally popped my XBox Live cherry today. Logged online and did an hour or so's worth of racing against virgins and total strangers VIA Forza Motorsport 2. Needless to say, I was the lucky one in each racing room: stuck with people who couldn't speak a lick of English, twelve-year-olds who think it's a great idea to not use their breaks through a chicane, and run their RX7 into the back of your $450,000 Ferrari, sending it into a wall. Fiberglass shrapnel spraying everywhere. And you still win.

Well, some of the races, can't complain. Three victories, and placed no lower then 4th in every other race. Not too bad. Plus, I got 26 "points." Whatever the fuck that means.

Wrong laser WRONG LASER

The man layed his hat on the table
Hung his coat up on the wall
Sat down to dinner said as soon as I am able
I’ll say something nice to you all
Then he took a deck from his pocket
Spread 'em so I saw 'em all
Then he turned his back to me shuffled em and drew me
The card that said I never would fall
Oh Mary Lou won’t you tell me what to do
I got a dollar on the corner and a laser in my shoe
If I don’t get an answer gonna split myself in two

He spun till a ton was glistening
Turned to me and gave me a smile
He said, "I’m leaving now but I want what you owe me
I’ll be back in a little while."
That was the last time I saw him
Hope I never see him again
I know it sounds funny but I owe him some money
And I really don’t want him for a friend

Relaxing

I'm sitting in a brown recliner, surfing the Internet, while my cat sleeps in my lap.

I couldn't be happier.

A thank-you

Wow, my blog has a whopping 54 hits! I never thought it'd get THIS BIG.

As a thank you to the 3 or 4 people that have stopped here roughly 13 times each, here's a visual thank you for your dedication to my meaningless blog.

Here's to 54 more views from the same handful of people.

*cheers